We’ve been quizzing now for time. “One of us…” got winning on our mind

Charles C

A record night at the Duchy Arms last night, with 16 teams wrestling with a high energy quiz that saw us learn: Marbella is on the Costa Del Sol; ‘DGMW’ in text slang stands for “Don’t Get Me Wrong”; and, Paris celebrated its 2000th anniversary in 1951. By the end, as well as finally getting the question on the Ed Sheerhan – Bloodstream lyrics, we had witnessed one of my all-time favourite quiz moments. A team, which had originated out of a spontaneous first date night back in June, had become regulars and, despite changing their name every week to celebrate an obscure characteristic of each quizzer (always starts with: "One of us..."), the team had built its profile at the Duchy Arms quiz scene. They’d won the second-from-bottom bottle of wine and a couple of free drinks over the weeks, they then took a meditative retreat to the Wilderness festival to refocus their quizzing energy, hit the podium after that and then, yesterday, the dream was fulfilled. Victory was delivered in a nail-biting sprint finish. Fantastic stuff.

“Quiz In My Pants” won the midget gems (had to cut back from the Smarties as I am selling my flat – a lovely period 2-bed in the Stockwell Conservation Area if anyone is interested) after having proved they knew ‘ukulele’ is originally a Hawaiian word. “The Funhams“ pin-point precision, half a point between two other teams – and knowing what the French mean by ‘croque madame’ – earned them the bottle of wine. “L’Woofs (NEF are nerds)” were just ahead, quick to remember that it was Piggy’s spectacles that were used to start fires in the cult classic ‘Lord of the Flies’. “Selleck’s Angels” did well to get the DITLOID about the first Super Bowl. “Jungle Is Not Massive” (nobody knew if that was a reference to a distaste for the music genre or a satirical call-to-arms regarding Amazonian deforestation) were hot on celeb gossip, knowing that Miley Cyrus has split from Liam Hemsworth.

“Queers For Beers” (very quick to identify the Smashing Pumpkins photograph), “Rice Quizbies” (supremely fast on the dictionary riddle) and the ever-reliable “Parrless” (excellent knowledge of US politics) all drew level on 37 points. Just ahead of them, “The Rookies” were again good on celebrity recognition, picking out Nick Jonas and Christopher Eccleston in the 50:50 face split. Half a point more, “Scooch” put the wind up us by getting the question on hurricanes.

Just off the podium “Fishermen’s Friends” and “Dr Quiz, Medecine Woman” both had a fantastic quiz, with scores that would likely win in most other weeks. Between them they identified the island of Crete on a tricky zoomed-in map and identified the logo for Battersea Dogs & Cats home. Taking home bronze, and with a well-aimed team name, “Greenland Is Not For Sale” knew that Tom Hanks was nominated for an Oscar in 1989 for the film ‘Big’. In second place, winning a bag of midget gems each, were local football heroes “Beer Express” (who nailed the question on the Lewis Carroll quotation about jam) and “Fake Quiz! Sad” (who had consolidated to just two people, winning my points-per-person award, and were spot on with the question about which England footballers have been sent off).

Just one point more, “One Of Us Unsuccessfully Applied For ‘First Dates’ Three Times” may have had a team member who was unlucky in love but he must have spent the time saved on dates swatting up on trivia because they romped home to victory in a thrilling quiz finish. In what feels like a whirlwind, meteoric Richard-Curtis-film-esque rise to prominence, the “One Of Us…” brand has truly made its mark. Nice work.

All that remained was the jackpot, which saw “Queers For Beers” give the closest guess to the record for rowing the Atlantic (just over 31 days) but were beaten in the higher-or-lower card game. Never mind. There is always next week, when the quiz and the jackpot will return for more drama, more trivia and – let me assure you – more prizes! Come and see us. Come and win. It will be high adrenaline. Tell me when it kicks in. #onlytheduchyarmshastheanswer